


President Natasha and why we stan a god

by Blxckspiders



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome Wanda Maximoff, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/F, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Lesbian Character, Lesbian Natasha Romanov, Lesbian Pepper Potts, Lesbian Wanda Maximoff, Loki & Peter Parker Friendship, M/M, Natasha Romanov Feels, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Steve, Social Media, The Avengers Are Good Bros, The Avengers Need a Hug, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Trans Peter Parker, Twitter, the avengers are all gay, the avengers x social media, the avengers x twitter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2019-08-09 13:33:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 8,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16450913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blxckspiders/pseuds/Blxckspiders
Summary: The avengers all have twitter and exclaimes their love for one anotherorpeter parker is a little shit but they all love him





	1. whos the kid?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [twitter is onto something](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625167) by [pomegranateboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegranateboy/pseuds/pomegranateboy). 



> oops i was supposed to start another story but this happened instead :P

Natasha @blackwindow

Oh please shut up

 

Natasha @blackwindow

I live among idiots..

 

Natasha @blackwindow

OK i'm done with these people

 

Natasha @blackwindow

If i didn't love this kid so much i would strangle him rn

 

* * *

 

boom @eucalyptus

Why is @blackwindows latest tweets such a mood?

 

i’m blue @iminneedofaguy

sksks oml I agree

 

boom @eucalyptus 

and who is the “kid”

 

i’m blue @iminneedofaguy

omg yes and she loves him

 

boom @eucalyptus

@blackwindow spill the tea sister

 

i’m blue @iminneedofaguy

rt

 

Natasha @blackwindow

you probably already know him ;)

 

i’m blue @iminneedofaguy

did she just-

 

boom @eucalyptus

Oh my-

 

i’m blue @iminneedofaguy

The winky face..

boom @eucalyptus

better get started on the stalking..

 

i’m blue @iminneedofaguy

already on it

 

* * *

choke me @daddy

if steve rogers isn't gay i'm killing myself

 

plum @pebbles 

Steve Rogers is gay and not even he could convince me otherwise

 

choke me @daddy

re fucking tweet

 

castillo @fantastico

Not to spread any truth but Steve Rogers and Tony Stark are gay for eachother 

 

plum @pebbles

I ship it

 

choke me @daddy

@tonystark please confirm

 

* * *

fried fries @trashhollander

@blackwindow why window and not widow?

 

Natasha @blackwindow

it was already taken at the time and everytime i change to it the kid changes back to window ;//

 

fried fries @trashhollander

WHO is the kid?!

 

Natasha @blackwindow

who knows 

 

accio @Lampett

@blackwindow please tell us

  
  


fried fries @trashhollander

@blackwindow do the other avengers know about him?

 

Natasha @blackwindow

They do but it was Tony who found him

 

accio @Lampett

I thought he didn't like kids?

 

Natasha @blackwindow

well he adores this one

 

Natasha @blackwindow

don't you @tonystark ?

 

Ironman @tonystark

stop exposing me

 

Natasha @blackwindow

be nice or i'll show him the videos

 

Ironman @tonystark

oh no Nat please I am nice

 

fried fries @trashhollander

What videos?

 

Natasha @blackwindow

Oh just a drunk Tony Stark rambling about his love for the kid

 

Ironman @tonystark

traitor

 

accio @Lampett

Did Tony Stark just confirm that he has a kid?

 

fried fries @trashhollander

Conclusion: Tony stark is a dad 


	2. lesbian queen and "lanugage"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi and welcome to chapter two of this fic

pygmy @puff

@blackwindow what your thoughts on lgbtq+ people?

 

Natasha @blackwindow

I kinda do dislike the community, I don't like how many people think some sexualities are less worth than others...

 

Natasha @blackwindow

And that Asexuals/Aromantics isn't a part of the community, like isn't that what the A in LGBTQIA?

 

Natasha @blackwindow

And I'm more than just an ally :p and so are many of my friends

 

Stove @swishbish

Wow, @backwindow spill the tea

 

Natasha @blackwindow

I’m lesbian

 

Pro @peterparkour

I thought u were american

 

Natasha @blackwindow

Oh my I will kill you

 

Pro @peterparkour

You can't touch me, I have the power of god and anime on my side!

 

Natasha @blackwindow

You’re not even allowed to have twitter u little nerd

 

Pro @peterparkour

You can’t stop me!!

 

Natasha @blackwindow

I'll tell your dad

 

Pro @peterparkour

Gotta blast

 

* * *

 

pygmy @puff

Did she just say she’s a lesbian?

 

sp @unk

O M G she just did

 

flower @forest

THE black widow is a lesbian? I can die happy now

 

Sp @unk

She also said many of he friends were a part of the lgbtq+ community….

 

pygmy @puff

and that's basically the avengers…..

 

one @directioner

And whatsup with that @peterparkour ? He seemed to know Natasha well enough to not get scared by her death threats

 

sp @unk

Maybe that's the kid she talked about? Tony Starks kid?

 

one @directioner

Omg that must be him!!

 

* * *

 

Pro @peterparkour

The day @michellejones expresses more feelings than a stone wall i'm going to cry

 

guy in da chair @nedleeds

same @michellejones

 

MJ @michellejones

Prepare your tears nerds, you’ll need them tomorrow ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Pro @peterparkour

fuck

 

Ironman @tonystark

language

 

Pro @peterparkour

shut up tony

 

Ironman @tonystark

*gasp* you’re grounded

 

MJ @michellejones

Be nice to the old man @peterparkour

 

Ironman @tonystark

Who the fuck are you, calling me old?!

 

Pro @peterparkour

language

 

Natasha @blackwindow

language

 

guy in da chair @nedleeds

language

 

MJ @michellejones

language

 

Ironman @tonystark

I’m feeling attacked

 

Pro @peterparkour

¯\\_(ツ)_/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh i have no idea


	3. Everyone loves Black Widow and she cried

Natasha @blackwindow

A little girl just came up to me after clint and I fought some alien and told me I was her hero. I don’t understand why some of you look up to me

 

Natasha @blackwindow

But it means so much to me that some of you look beyond the fact that I am an assassin and murderer

 

Natasha @blackwindow

I don’t know really i just wanted to say that I love you guys

 

* * *

Avenger News @avengernews

@blackwindow chocked when a little girl tells her shes a hero. We couldn’t agree more with the little girl!

 

sweet @dope

We stan a lesbian queen @blackwindow !

 

dumb @doe 

rt

 

one @directioner 

rt

fried fries @trashhollander

rt

 

guy in da chair @nedleeds

rt

 

MJ @michellejones

rt

 

Pro @peterparkour

rt

 

fastest man alive @flashthompson

rt

 

* * *

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

I just saw @blackwindow being close to tears because of you guys

 

Coolest avengers @clintbarton

Please make her cry!!

 

Ironman @tonystark

The person who makes her cry wins a day with me!

 

wallcrawler @spiderman

Oh that's not so hard @tonystark ;))

 

Ironman @tonystark

Oh whom the fudge let you get twitter?

 

wallcrawler @spiderman

clint..

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

Oh i'm sorry Tony I can’t hear you screaming at me rn, my hearing aid is gone

 

* * *

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

OK so Natasha is currently crying a river

 

ice ice @baby

Why?

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

@spiderman just came over and talked to her and the when he left he said “Bye spidermum”

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

I quote “I’m a mess Clint, he said one word and this is what happened!” - Black Widow, Natasha Romanoff, Spy, assassin, stone hard bitch

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

She’s glaring at me rn so i'm guessing she’s seen this, gotta gooooooo

 

* * *

pumpkin spice @latte

ok so Black Widow? crying? cuz spider-man called her spidermom?! My heart <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

 

pumpkin @spicelatte

@blackwindow is so fkn pure I love her so much!!! <3

 

pro @peterparkour

@blackwindow u are a national treasure !


	4. useless gays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry for not updating in forever but alot is happening in school atm <3333

 

Jean @blue

When are the rest of the avengers getting Twitter? 

 

Pnk @monsterr

@tonystark @clintbarton @blackwindow @spiderman !!!!! 

 

Pro @peterparkour

@samwilson @wandamaximoff @brucebanner @tchalla @shuri 

 

Princess @shuri

I'm honoured you included me as an avenger ;p

 

Pro @peterparkour

stop ittttt, everyone knows u don’t even want to be an avenger

 

Princess @shuri

yeah why would i? 

 

Pro @peterparkour

why would you not?

 

Princess @shuri

cause they are all useless gays

 

Pro @peterpakrou

well ur a useless lesbian

 

Princess @shuri

yes i know

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

U shouldn’t say that ur a useless bi 

 

Princess @shuri

that's right sparks, he is

 

Princess @shuri

and you are a useless lesbian 

 

Pro @peterparkour

So basically we are all useless human beings

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff 

yes

 

Princess @shuri

yes

 

MJ @michellejones

wait, shuri is into girls?

 

* * *

Toni @trans_bitch

Did he just say that all the avengers are useless gays?

 

Steph @jellyfish

I think he fucking did


	5. peter and shuri are memegods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i suck at updating this but sorri schools alot rn and will probably be til like march oops  
> but ily and whatever

Ironman @tonystark

I just opened a door?! And it fell off it's fucking hinges?! Excuse me?!

 

Wallcrawler @spiderman

you're not even that strong 

 

Ironman @tonystark

stfu kid

 

Wallcrawler @spiderman

try open the door to the third closet

 

Ironman @tonystark

what the heck kid what did you do?!?

 

Wallcrawler @spiderman

I didn't do it!!

 

Ironman @tonystark

Then who?

 

Bucky @jamesbarnes

oops

 

Ironman @tonystark

Bucky?! Did you? Destroy? my house!

 

Bucky @jamesbarnes

i didn't even try, they just casually fell off…

 

Ironman @tonystark

you're grounded!!

 

Bucky @jamesbarnes

You can't ground me! I'm a grown man!!

 

Ironman @tonystark

watch me barnes

 

Bucky @jamesbarnes 

@peterparkour help!!!

 

Ironman @tonystark

I'll ground you to pete

 

Pro @peterparkour

Sorry bucky

 

* * *

T’challa @blackpanther

so me and @tonystark was just casually sitting in our teacup on the teacup ride in disneyland

 

T’challa @blackpanther

And @shuri and @peterparkour just comes from nowhere spinning in hundreds mph and whooshing past us

 

Ironman @tonystark

I swear they did it like 6 times too 

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

so i'm sitting here-

 

Natasha @blackwindow

barbecue sauce on my titties

 

Expialidocious @shuri

that's my line, u don't know memes like i do

 

Natasha @blackwindow

try me, bitch

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

Oh sorry I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich

 

Natasha @blackwindow

Go back to sleep. And starve!

 

Expialidocious @shuri

don’t fuck with me

 

Natasha @blackwindow

I have the power of god and anime on my side

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

You know what that means? ;)

 

Natasha @blackwindow

yeet

 

Expialidocious @shuri

I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets :’(

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

whoever threw that paper,

 

Expialidocious @shuri

your mom’s a hoe

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

xoxo

 

Expialidocious @shuri

gossip girl

 

Natasha @blackwindow

ok i give up, you win 

 

Expialidocious @shuri

Can i get a waffle @tchalla

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

Can I PLEASE get a waffle @tonystark

 

Ironman @tonystark

I swear you kids are going to be the death of me

 

T’challa @blackpanther

I do not understand today's kids..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love shuri and pete so much and im positive they make all the avengers quote memes on a daily basis


	6. natasha and her lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who nat is with? ;)   
> its not hard to guess but yah

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

lmao I swear to god I just saw Natasha kissing a girl but I dunno who it could be

 

Wallcrawler @spiderman

@blackwindow tell us who your secret lover isss

 

Bucky @jamesbarnes

spill the tea nattie!

 

Ironman @tonystark

@spiderman you don’t know? i'm shooketh you always know everything about everyone

 

Wallcrawler @spiderman

ik but shes sneaky and a little scary

 

Natasha @blackwindow

you're scared of me ?

 

Wallcrawler @spiderman

sometimes u are a little scary, but ily anyways

 

Natasha @blackwindow

ily too kiddo <33

 

Ironman @tonystark

Natasha ? answers please ? !

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

I'm your best friend!!

 

Natasha @blackwindow

you would just bully me i know it already

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

OH MY  G O D, no, it can't be

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

did u finally ask her out?

 

Natasha @blackwindow

yes…

 

-

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

MY EYES

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

MY POOR EYES   
  


Sparks @wandamaximoff

@BLACKWINDOW I'M ONLY I CHILD

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH TO SEE THIS

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

but congrats to you two

 

Natasha @blackwindow

I'm so so sorry Wanda, that was NOT supposed to happen!!

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

it's ok, i'm just scarred for life, no biggie

 

Natasha @blackwindow

I'll make it up to you sometime <33

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

fuck yeah you will

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

language sparks !

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

steve would love hearing that from you

 

Ironman @tonystark

fuck yeah he would

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

tony

 

Ironman @tonystark

like u arent a little kinky shit in bed, love it when i talk dirty to you

 

Natasha @blackwindow 

tony theres minors here!! and like the whole world too

 

Steve @captainamerica

oopsie

 

Ironman @tonystark

yeah the kids have already kinda outed us and so have you do why tf not 

 

Ironman @tonystark

i'm bi as fuck and i'm in love w cap

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

i'm gay

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ty so much for reading this fic! feel free to leave kudos and comment what u think i can aprove or just comment whatever you want <333


	7. stony is trending and happy tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this turned out pretty long :p

Ella @ponyprincess1

wow tony stark and steve rogers just came out as bi/gay  _ and  _ as a couple

 

Glare @netflixnpills

We  _ stan  _ the number one (1) powercouple

 

Ella @ponyprincess1

Fuck yeah we do !

 

-

 

Avenger News @avengernews

Iron Man and Captain America announced that they are dating! #Stony

 

Avenger News @avengernews

#Stony (@tonystark and @captainamerica) are now the #1 trend on Twitter!

 

-

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

Wow #Stony are trending before I do, not cool 

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

why the hell would u ever trend?

 

Guy in da chair @nedleeds

uhh @flashthompson have you not seen what have happened on twitter the last few days?

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

i know tony and captain america are dating, and i know black widow is a lesbian 

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

so why the fuck would penis ever trend?

 

moonpie @cindymoon

@flashthompson you are really stupid sometimes

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

stop trying to be someone who u arent

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

your username doesn't even make sense that's not even the whole word

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

@shuri he needs some milk

 

Expialidocious @shuri

Is this the punk who bullies u?

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

no

 

MJ @michellejones

yes

 

Guy in da chair @nedleeds

yes

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

no?

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

Peter Benjamin Parker why have you not told anyone about this?

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

@shuri get over here and we’ll kill him

 

Expialidocious @shuri

hell yeah we will, i'll come tomorrow and we can begin plan it !

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

great !

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

Petey we won’t tell the others until after our plans have succeeded, of if he does something even worse!!

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

uh i'm literally right here and who the fuck are you two?

 

Moonpie @cindymoon

flash sometimes you're just so goddamn stupid

 

-

 

i'm @catman

let's just recap the last few days plz

 

i'm @catman

tony stark is bi and steve rogers is gay and they are dating

 

i'm @catman

black widow is a lesbian

 

don't be a drag @justbeaqueen

the avengers all have a kid together who’s actually hilarious

 

french fries @trashhollander

natasha thought she was better on memes than two teenagers, shuri the princess of wakanda and peter parker tony stark's almost kid

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

why the fuck are everyone talking about peter parker?

 

don't be a drag @justbeaqueen

have you not been on twitter the last week? then u have missed something

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

Peter parker is a fkn loser, she sucks and shes stupid as fuck

 

i'm @catman

wow you seem like v fun person, peter seems hilarious 

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

people who  _ like _ her disgust me

 

french fries @trashhollander

people like you disgust me, and i'm pretty sure you are misgendering him rn so stop

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

Peter’s no guy, she was born in  girls body which means shes a fucking girl

 

don't be a drag @justbeaqueen

stfu and get outta here ! transphobes are not welcome here

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

you guys rly don't care about her lying about herself?

 

i'm @catman

i'm trans too, and people like  _ you  _ disgust me. why can't you just let people be who they are, let him be whatever he feels like

 

i'm @catman

his body his choices

 

i'm @catman

now shut the fuck up and leave

 

-

 

Ironman @tonystark

ok the kid is currently full out crying and mumbling something about a catman, drags, queens and french fries

 

Ironman @tonystark

i'm not sure what he means but i actually think it's happy tears so whoever did that i love you, he’s been down all day

 

i'm @catman

no poor him<33

 

don't be a drag @justbeaqueen

aww <3<3

 

french fries @trashhollander

<333

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

you're such a dad tony

 

i'm @catman

get the fuck out of here you idiot @flashthompson

 

french fries @trashhollander

we don't want you here, and he don't need you here

 

don't be a drag @justbeaqueen

i'm pretty sure the reason hes been down all day is your fault too >:(


	8. irony and marriage anniversaries

Stark Industries @SI

Stark Industries are hosting a competition were you and your class can win a tour of the tower in New York! Enter via the following link: www.starkindustries/competitions/tours.com

 

Ironman @tonystark

rt

 

Pepper @virginiapotts

rt

 

The rest of the avengers: also retweet, i'm just too lazy to write them all

 

* * *

 

MJ @michellejones

The irony if we won @peterparkour @nedleeds

 

Guy in da chair @nedleeds

oh my lord no that would be hilarious

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

No it would not

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

the “irony”, so punny today michelle aren't we?

 

MJ @michellejones

yes we are mary poppins

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

Oh you know i could tell a certain person about your little crush…

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

since shes coming here soon

 

MJ @michellejones

stfu parker or i'll expose you're crush too

 

Guy in da chair @nedleeds

peter who tf is your crush?! you haven't told me?!?

 

Guy in da cair @nedleeds

betrayal

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

Oh god Ned i didn't even tell her, she just knows everything about everyone

 

Guy in da chair @nedleeds

that's true, but dude you gotta tell me !!

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

later maybe

 

MJ @michellejones

u have to tell him loser

 

MJ @michellejones

please let me see his face when u do it

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

do you know that i hate you?

 

MJ @michellejones

so you’ve said

 

Guy in da chair @nedleeds

wow pete mr. harrington is eyeing u very much rn

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

fuck

 

Expialidocious @shuri

wait michelle likes girls 2?

 

* * *

 

Ironman @tonystark

At this day 16 years ago I married my best friend

 

Rhodey @jamesrhodes

Pepper is still mad about it

 

Ironman @tonystark

we were drunk and it's surprisingly easy to do it in LA

 

Rhodey @jamesrhodes

I still have the ring in my moms house

 

Ironman @tonystark

Dum-E is taking care of mine

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

why didn't i know about this?

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

when did you separate?

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

they didn't

 

Pepper @virginiapotts

oh gosh tony and rhodey didn't I tell you to do that years ago?

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

steve ur boyfriend is married

 

Rhodey @jamesrhodes

were actually celebrating our marriage togay, be nice

 

Ironman @tonystark

like rhodes said

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

oh buhu you're just mad I'm not at the tower w you

 

Pepper @virginiapotts

he’s very sad and I think he’s mad at you for having friends

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

wow Tony, you can’t have him all by yourself you know

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

I'll stop by tomorrow if you want?

 

Ironman @tonystark

you better do

 

Ironman @tonystark

i love u kiddo

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

i love you to Mr. Stark

 

Ironman @tonystark

oh for fuck sake, i thought we were way past that

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

we are, it's just fun to annoy you


	9. What is happening?

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

yall steve and tony haven't talked in three hours

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

i'm kinda worried

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

although Natasha is smug as fuck so she could be planning something

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

and Parker is just running away from me

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

i'm betting on that something huge is happening tonight at the party

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

and yes tony is throwing a party in honour of his and rhodey’s marriage lol

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

and how cap didn't knew about this before is sick

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

this is like the wildest party all year

 

* * *

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

wow i'm so sad i'm not allowed to go

 

Natasha @blackwindow

of fucking course you're going, who told you you couldn't?

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

clint

 

Natasha @blackwindow

@clintbarton  _ what the fuck _

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

he's a minor and everyone always drinks

 

Natasha @blackwindow

Pete you're going, wether you’d like it or not

 

* * *

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

woOoOw

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

wow

 

Natasha @blackwindow

woah

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

woaaaw

 

Pepper @virginiapotts

wow

 

Rhodey @jamesrhodes

oh lord

 

Bucky @jamesbarnes

wow

 

Bruce @brucebanner

oh my god

 

Wallcrawler @spiderman

woow

 

Expialidocious @shuri

w o a h

 

T’challa @blackpanther

wow.

 

* * *

 

i'm @catman

what is happening?

 

don't be a drag @justbeaqueen

i'm not sure

 

french fries @trashhollander

i'm not sure if it's positive or negative

 

Moonpie @cindymoon

I hope it's positive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooh things is going down ;)


	10. everyone is crying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time no see gays!  
> This chapther isnt written in the usual twitter format thing but in a regular format. I both hate and love this chapter so idk really <3  
> happy reading
> 
> Also,  
> If you dont want to read all this you can just skip to the chapter after to read some sort of summary in twitter form lol

“I’m sorry I can’t come to you today” Peter said into his phone

 

“If you're going to that super cool party which your dad and his apparently husband are throwing them i'm surprised you even considered going to min” Ned said, fanboying as usual

 

“I'm really sorry, we haven't done something outside school in a really long time” Peter said pitiful

 

“Wow Pete, you are going to a party, with the avengers. Where you dad and James Rhodes are celebrating their 16th anniversary.” Ned hyped “We can just meet up tomorrow or something instead, the legos can wait”

 

“You sure it's ok?” Peter said, he didn't want to disappoint his friend. But he also didn't want to miss this party. And Natasha is very scary when she doesn't get what she wants.

 

“Totes, but please update me on everything!” Ned said, emphasizing the word ‘everything’

 

“Okay good, I gotta go now then, see you tomorrow?” Peter smirked into the phone

 

“See yaaa” Ned said and ended the call

 

Happy was going to pick him up in an hour so he really needed to shower. And what the heck was he supposed to wear? He decided to text Natasha before he stepped into the shower. 

 

He was still in the stage where he felt ‘OMG I have Black Widows phone number!!’. But to be honest, it was pretty cool. 

 

Natasha simply answered with ‘Formal wear, so a suit or something like that will do it ;)’.

 

Peter stepped into the showered and did whatever you do in the shower quickly before starting to look at suits. Since he only had one suit it was a very easy choice. The same suit he wore at the disastrous homecoming a year ago. 

 

It barely fitted anymore but since he had nothing else this was it. He tried to flatten down the locks on his head but that did not work. He only sighed at them and brushed his teeth instead.

 

If he was nervous? Yes. Why? He really had no idea. He was just going to a party with his whole family, even May was going to be there. Maybe he was worried about what Steve thought about Rhodey and Tony being married?

 

But  _ everyone  _ knew Tony and Rhodey were best friends and only best friends. No way in hell they could be anything more than that. Peter just hoped with his whole heart it wouldn't make Steve and Tony break up. Those two were like his dads (which made the rest of the avengers uncles and aunts).

 

“Pete, you ready to go? Happy is waiting outside” May yelled from the living room

 

“I'm coming Aunt May” He yelled back and picked up his phone and then walked out to May.

 

“You look beautiful Pete” May said giving him a warm smile and then hugging him.

 

May was so proud over her little kid, she was so proud over the young man he’d grown up to be. And she knew that if something ever happened to her, he’d have somewhere to go where he would be loved and looked after. He could have found a better family than the avengers.

 

Even if May was suspicious and not overly excited about it in the beginning she saw how much peter and tony cared for one another. It made he so happy.

 

“You look  _ amazing  _ too Aunt May” Peter smiled back at her

 

“Shall we go out to Happy?” 

 

“We should, hell probably get grumpy if we keep him waiting for too long” Peter let out a little laugh

 

Arm in arm the two walked out of the apartment, down the stairs and to the expensive black car who waited outside. 

 

“Hi Happy” Peter said happily when he opened one of the door

 

“Hello Peter, excited for tonight?” Happy answered 

 

“Very, I just hope steve isn't angry with da- tony” Peter said honestly

 

“Don't sweat bout it kiddo, i'm sure they already made up” 

 

Peter gave him a weak smile and Happy started driving. The party wasn't held at the tower since they were to many people. Not just the avengers were coming, other heroes were coming and then a few other friends of different avengers. So the party was being held in a old library which was remade a while ago and now just exist for the sake of different parties.

 

They soon arrived to the party location so happy parked in front of the house, they party was supposed to start at 19.00 and it was just 18.34. Happy drove away to pick up someone else so Peter and May walked to the front door. 

 

Inside of the house people were running around, fixing some last minute stuff. In the middle of everything Pepper Potts stood, giving out directions to everyone. None of the other Avengers were in the room as far as Peter could see. But Pepper soon caught sight of them and hurried over.

 

“Pete, May welcome! We are in a hurry here so if you would just go through that door-” She said and pointed to a big door behind her “You will find some of the others.” And just like that she was gone again.

 

They walked through the door and just like Pepper said some of the avengers were in the room. More exactly, Wanda, Clint, Bucky, Scott, Hope and Bruce were in the room. 

 

“Hello Peter” Hope said smiling “And this must be your aunt! I'm Hope” 

 

“Hello Hope, yes, this is May.” Peter chirped happily “And hello to the rest of you too” He said getting a chorus of hello’s back.

 

The two took a seat in the big sofa which were covering most of the room. Peter did not dare to ask were the rest of them were. He just hoped they would attend the party. Peter was sure that Tony would turn up, he wasn't the one to say no to drink with his friends. 

 

May and the others talked a little but Peter was just sitting there, playing geometry dash. He was pretty good due to his reflexes. 20 minutes passed by and Peter started to get very bored. So like the good boy he was he jumped up on the ceiling, hanging over a certain assassin/spy/bird/idiot. When Clint then looked up he saw a certain spiderboy hanging centimeters above him and let out a high pitched shriek. 

 

“GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAKY SPIDER KID” He screamed while the others laughed at him. They had of course also been pranked by the kid.

 

“I'LL TELL YOUR DAD ABOUT THIS!!” He screamed again

 

“What will you tell me?” Someone said from the doorway, earning everyone's eyes

 

A certain dad/genius/billionaire/philanthropist who looked years older than he was, black bags under his puffy eyes, sloppy posture and he did certainly not express his usual high self esteem. The thing with Steve must’ve taken hard on him. 

 

Peter was worried, but he was very happy to see him so as the child he is he ran and hugged him.

 

“Hullo Peter, how are you?” He asked softly and hugged him back

 

“I'm good, excited, what about you dad?” Peter smiled 

 

“Could’ve been better, but you shouldn't worry about it, this is you first party with us isn't it?” Tony flashed a smile

 

“It is!” Peter’s smile widened 

 

“Well just don't drink anything or your aunt will kill me” 

 

“I promise Mr. Stark” 

 

“Please stop calling me ‘Mr. stark” Tony sighed “I thought we were wayyy past that” 

 

“We are, it's just fun to annoy you” Peter smiled innocently

“You should be glad that I love you kiddo” Tony tried to look serious for a moment

 

“I love you too... dad” Now Tony couldn't hold back a smile 

 

“C’mon now kids, we have a party to.. party?” Tony said confused “Fuck it we have a party to attend so let's gooo” He said and Peter laughed as the group entered the big hall again.

 

This time it was full of people dressed in beautiful gowns and suits. Peter didn't recognize most of them but he did know some of them, for example a journalist and blogger called Emelie Vance. The only reason Peter knew who she were was because MJ loved her blog. She would definitely be jealous of him and scold him for not getting her autograph. But Peter could probably get everyone’s autograph because he was 100% sure every single person in the room were famous in some sort of way.

 

“Woah, It's beautiful in here” May said. The entire room was transformed from the chaos before to some sort of ballroom with maroon and gold decor. It really was beautiful.

 

“Thank you very much May” Pepper (who appeared from nowhere) said smiling bright. Pepper wore a beautiful dark green dress.

 

Natasha, who stood beside Peter, just stared at Pepper (who also appeared from nowhere).

 

“Hello Pepper, you look beautiful tonight” Natasha said (peter swore she was blushing). 

 

“Hi Natasha, you don't look so bad yourself” Pepper smiled bright (a certain spark was in her eyes). Natasha wore a equally as beautiful sparkling red dress.

 

Peter smiled at the two obvious women and backed away to go find someone more fun. He wanted to go to Wanda but she was talking to some big, slightly scary men. His second choice was Bucky but he nor Steve was anywhere too be seen. Rhodey had arrived, but he was talking to some of his friends. So Peter stood alone by the wall, waiting for something fun to happen.

 

* * *

“You ready?” 

 

“As ready as I’ll ever be i guess”

 

“good, i signed it already so there will be no problem”

 

* * *

The big door suddenly burst opened and King T'challa, Nakia and two women from the Dora Milaje who peter recognized as Okoye and Ayo. Behind them came a certain Princess, dressed in some sort of yellow dress.

 

“PETER!!” Shuri screamed at him and came running (she somehow ran in heels, a mystery peter never would solve) “How are you? You have to come down too Wakanda soon!”

 

“I'm great, and yes I really have to come to you again!!” Peter smiled bright

 

“Soooo who’s the person you like?” Shuri smirked and before peter could say anything she said “Don't even try to lie to me, i saw your conversation with ned and MJ on twitter” 

 

“Then why don't you tell me about your little crush” Peter smirked back at her and a small blush appeared on her cheeks.

 

“You already know who” 

 

“And you already know who i like” 

 

“Great, then let's just never talk about it” Shuri said

 

“That does sound great actually” Peter continued

“So what's the plan for tonight, i bet something huge is going down” Shuri said excited

 

“I just hope Steve and Tony aren't fighting” Peter said honest

 

“I'm sure they’re ok, let's go and eat some snacks shall we” Shuri smiled and dragged Peter to the snack table.

 

Shuri and Peter ran around eating snacks, dancing and pranking various avengers during the next hour. No Steve where anywhere to be seen yet, although Bucky and Sam arrived a while ago. Natasha was once again gone and Pepper refused to answer whenever someone asked about her. So the party was good, Wanda sneaked them drinks when no one looked which resulted in two tipsy teenagers. 

 

May just sighed and shook her head when she caught them, Tony on the other hand scolded Wanda and refused to listen to them until Peter called him ‘dad’.

 

* * *

Peter was walking backwards (for some reason, he really wasn't sure why). Suddenly he crashed into something, or someone, which made him fall over. A quiet scream escaped his lips and he quickly stood up again too see who or what he accidentally crashed into. 

 

“Hey there Pete, how’d it go?” The all too familiar voice said

 

“H-Hi Steve, i'm g-good, didn't hurt at all” Peter stuttered a little for some reason, Steve was like a dad to him.

 

“You need to be careful kid, you and shuri could accidentally hurt yourself in one of your weird games. Especially under the influence of alcohol” Steve said wrinkling his nose in disliking

 

“sorry Steve we will” 

 

“So you promise you won't drink again? You and Shuri are both underage and drinking is illegal unt-” Steve said (with the same voice as in the PSA videos)

 

“i'm immune against you, don't even try it” Peter cut him off 

 

“um what?”

 

“Sorry, we won't drink again” Peter said and hurried back to Shuri

 

Steve stood there for a moment, shocked. Then it hit him, Peter had seen the PSA videos. Steve groaned and told himself that he really needed to get them to stop playing them in schools. 

 

But now, he needed to start his mission.

 

* * *

 

 

“Thank you all for coming here once again, this is the 16th time for some of you. This year we have many new people here so welcome everyone” Tony said into the microphone

 

“As you all know Tony and I married in Las Vegas 2002 and we’ve been married ever since.” Rhodey said

 

“So Happy 16th anniversary to us!” Tony tried sounding as excited he could

 

“I'm afraid this will be our last anniversary-”

 

“what?!” Tony cut him off

 

Steve stepped up on the little stage and the audience grasped.

 

“Steve?!” Tony was very confused “I'm sorry, really, I-” 

 

Steve got down on one knee right in front of tony and pulled out a little blue and gold box.

 

“Anthony Edward Stark, will you marry me?” Steve asked

 

“I-I thought y-you were a-angry with me?!” Tony said, eyes teary

 

“Tony, did you honestly think I didn't know about this?” Steve (also near tears) said.

 

“Maybe, I-I don't k-know r-really. Steve I w-was so worried y-you’d leave me..” Tony said, now full out crying

 

“I could never leave you Tony, I love you so much.” Steve said (also full out crying)

 

“But ho-how did you?” 

 

“I told Rhodey about my plans to ask you, he helped me with everything” Steve smiled at Rhodey

 

“If you just sign this..” Rhodey said and gave Tony the divorce paper.

 

“So what do you said?” Steve said hopefully

 

“Of course I will marry you Steve!” Tony said throwing himself in the arms of the super soldier. 

 

The audience suddenly started clapping and somewhere in the crowd you could hear two teenagers screaming something about ‘Stony being canon’.

 

However, everyone were happy and the party kept going until very late. (what happened in steve and tony’s room later is nothing we talk about)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also yes, their last name will be Stark-Rogers


	11. peter broke captain america

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if u didnt want to read the last chapter this is chapter is basically everything u need to know but yeah whatever

Ironman @tonystark

@captainamerica , wanna know your gay name?

 

Steve Rogers @captain america

sure

 

Ironman @tonystark

your name

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

uh yeah ?

 

Ironman @tonystark

and my last name..

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

_ bro _

 

Expialidocious @shuri

of aaaaall the ways to announce that you're getting married,,,  _ this  _ is the way you choose

 

Expialidocious @shuri

I approve

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

me two

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

me three

 

* * *

zombie @vsflowers

fucking hell

 

zombie @vsflower

Stony is real

 

zombie @vsflower

I can die happy now

 

guy in da chair @nedleed

AND theyre getting freaking married!?!?!

 

MJ @michellejones

I knew it

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

sure u did MJ

 

MJ @michellejones

you can practically see them eye fucking each other whenever they see each other

 

Ironman @tonystark

no you can't?

 

MJ @michellejones

you're not even denying it 

 

Ironman @tonystak

no i'm not

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

@captainamerica come get your man 

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

weeeell it's true

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

i don't need to know about my dads sexlife thank you very much

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

oh fuck

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

why does this ALWAYS happen to me?!?

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

i'm just going to go die in a hope bye cruel world

 

Ironman @tonystark

kiddo u broke him

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

huh?

 

Ironman @tonystark

hes just laying on the couch hugging his phone

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

omg, i broke captain america

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

i love you pete, really

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

ily too dad


	12. the spider is angry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops im bad at updating

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

Who tHE FUCK ATE MY PIZZA?!?!

 

Ironman @tonystark

language

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

womst the sexual intercourse digested my pizza questionmark exclamationmark

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

what the fuck kid

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

who did it?!

 

Rhodey @jamesrhodes

sorry kid we didn't know you wanted it

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

oh wow, i'm sitting here doing my fucking homework and while i'm doing that, YOU FKN ATE  _ MY  _ PIZZA

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

I promise you I will make you suffer

 

Natasha @blackwindow

no offense, but i feel like i'm being threatened by a cupcake 

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

wow

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

wow

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

did you guys know that Natasha  _ loves  _ cheesy romantic comedies, She watches them almost everyday before everyone else go up, then she quickly switches to something scary like It or the exorcist

 

Natasha @blackwindow

nooo pete you're ruining my reputation!!

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

Tony’s biggest fear is butterflies, he’s terrified of them. Will 100% scream if he sees one, the smaller the scarier

 

Ironman @tonystark

i thought you loved me !

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

Rhodey has a pair of captain america underwear and they are his favorite

 

Steve Rogers @captain america

I'm honoured?

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

Oh Stevie! Steve can’t get drunk due to the serum, so one time he faked being drunk which ended with him ice skating in a pink tutu and a shell bra just because he wanted everyone to believe him being drunk

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

and clint, clint clint clint. He always turns his hearing aids off and then acts like they aren't working. Which means he now has 27 of them, all fully working.

 

Coolest avenger @clintbarton

really parker?

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

really bird?

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

Wanda have faceplanted a total of 637 (yep i've counted) times, aka whenever she’s seen her crush

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

oh wow as if you haven't done that

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

oh kitty..

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

stfu i will kill you in your sleep

 

Ironman @tonystark

wow kids you're getting very violent here now

 

Ironman @tonystark

and who’s kitty?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who Kitty is ;)))


	13. wanda's little crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only one (1) person guessed right about who Kitty is so shoutout to u @onehellofafangirl
> 
> this chap is pretty bad but i just wanted to introduce her a little :p

sparks @wandamaximoff

i'm honestly offended rn @peterparkour

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

why so miss wanda sparks future pryde ??

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

u fkn eXPOSED ME

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

s’not like she’ll find out duuh

 

Kitty @katherinepryde

find out what exactly ?

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

ohhh kitty cat we were just talking about u

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

peter i will kill u

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

like double kill u

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

u will die

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

thank me later sparks

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

did i say i would kill him? cuz i will

 

Kitty @katherinepryde

ur very violent wandie

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

i'm not an avenger for nothing

 

Kitty @katherinepryde

lol

 

Kitty @katherinepryde

so what was he talking about?

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

oooh no that was nothing really

 

Kitty @katherinepryde

no sure not, it's not like the whole conversation before was public :p

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

fuck

 

[PRIVATE MESSAGES]

 

_Kitty_

so let's talk about your crush shall we

 

_Sparks_

shall we not?

 

_Kitty_

we shall

i also got a crush

shes pretty cool yk

 

_Sparks_

tell me more tell me more

 

_Kitty_

shes kinda into magic and stuff

 

_Sparks_

that's dope

 

_Kitty_

she’s also very very pretty

 

_Sparks_

sounds almost like you're talking about yourself

except the magic part

 

_Kitty_

she also lives very far away from me which is sad :(

 

_Sparks_

oh why don't you just come over then

i'm sure no one will mind

 

_Kitty_

maybe i will witchy girl

maybe i will

 

_Sparks_

you will*

 

_Kitty_

i gtg though, my professor is eyeing me x

 

_Sparks_

ttyl <33

 

_Kitty_

ofc <33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so Kitty is Katherine "Kitty" Pryde from X-men.  
> I will not bring in any other x-men (i think) so she's just a regular girl who happens to be able to go through walls.  
> Kitty's alter ego is Shadowcat and as i just said she's able to walk though walls so she's a mutant. Shes the same age as Wanda, which is 19-ish.  
> comment if theres something more u wanna know about her ;p


	14. Loki did WHAT!?!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi sorry for not posting but now that christmas is over im going to start posting again <33

penpineapple @applepen  
what does the asgardians think about genders and sexualities? i'm asking for a friend

Thor @pointbreak  
That is a wonderful question young midgardian! Although I think my dear brother is more equipped to answer that

Thor @pointbreak  
@loki come here and answer this great question!

god of mischief @loki  
I still can't believe Stark let you get a phone brother…

god of mischief @loki  
I honestly have never seen a place less accepting than earth. On Asgard people can love whomever they want and we have not given any name to the sexualities and there is no “normal” gender.

god of mischief @loki  
I myself, am genderfluid so some days i feel like a woman, others like a man and sometimes none or both.

god of mischief @loki  
I'm also what you earthlings call pansexual, i can love someone whichever gender and rase they are

Thor @pointbreak  
Like you and Svaðilfari

god of mischief @loki  
Svaðilfari was amazing and if you ever talk anything bad about him i will kill you, and that's a promise

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour  
whos svadilfari or whatever?

God of mischief @loki  
A story for another time young boy, when you're older

Natasha @blackwindow  
isn't that the horse you slept with and had a kid?

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour  
Loki slept with a what?

Natasha @blackwindow  
yeah, according to the norse mythology Loki and Svaðilfari had a foal named Sleipnir with eight legs?

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour  
you have a kid?!?

God of mischief @loki  
great Romanova, how do you even know that?

Natasha @blackwindow  
I read it in a book somewhere

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour  
you slept with a horse… and got a kid whos also a horse but with eight legs?

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour  
and you said it was a he… so that means you were a mare and then had to carry that foal for 11 months!?!

God of mischief @loki  
i mean, yes

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour  
no way!! that's so cool. where are they now?

God of mischief @loki  
Svaðilfari sadly passed away a couple of hundred years ago while Sleipnir is somewhere on Asgard.

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour  
cool, can i meet him?

God of mischief @loki  
some day my child, maybe

* * *

day @dream

Wow, I can’t believe that I stan the god who tried to take over earth a couple of years ago. 

 

zombie @vsplants

mood ^^ 

 

i’m @catman 

fucking hell I never thought that that same god slept with a horse?!

 

day @dream

ok that's just crazy

 

day @dream

and a little weird?

 

I’m @catman

i mean ig you could blame it on that he’s technically an alien? But idk about the horse tho

 

boomboom @wosh

and peter so pure omg 

 

jamie @jamescoco

sksksk omg and Natasha! How did she know?

 

ace ace @baby

it's hilarious, the avengers are a bunch of misfits and i love them so much

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow what a weird chapter
> 
> UPDATE: I added some things to the end of the chapter which i forgot when i originaly posted it


	15. top secret highly classified

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi and wow this chapter is longer than usual

Stark Industries @SI

The competition has now been closed and we will announce the winner tomorrow friday at 10 AM!

 

-

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

I swear if anyone from our class told pepper we wanted to win i will kill everyone in this room, and myself

 

MJ @michellejones

:)

 

Guy in da chair @nedleeds

:))

 

Moonpie @cindymoon

:)))

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

as if she would've listen to u

 

Moonpie @cindymoon

siriusly flash how hard is it to understand that he almost lives with the avengers? 

 

MJ @michellejones

including Pepper

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

as if, if it's true then tony just thinks he's some sort of charity case

 

i'm @catman

uh hu flash what did we tell u the last time?

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

not you again, stop acting like some sort of personal bodyguard for her, it's pathetic

 

French fries @trashhollander

you're pathetic

 

don't be a drag @justbeaqueen

misgendering people is still not ok

 

Fastest man alive @flashthompson

do i look like i care? 

 

Natasha @blackwindow

soon you will

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

natasha NO

 

Natasha @blackwindow

Natasha yes

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

you can't kill a kid just bcs he’s a little mean to me

 

Natasha @blackwindow

watch me parker

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

i'll tell pep about what's on your computer :))

 

Natasha @blackwindow

the fuck you won't, how do you even know about that?

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

...spiderman told me, with his enhanced hearing yk

 

Natasha @blackwindow

fucking kids

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

yeah that show is for kids, not grown up lesbian murder spy queens

 

Natasha @blackwindow

it's a great show stfu

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

it sucks

 

Natasha @blackwindow

YOU TAKE THAT BACK

 

Natasha @blackwindow

it's at least a lot better than gossip girl

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

eXcUsE me. Blair Waldorf is fucking queen and you know it

 

Natasha @blackwindow

Twilight Sparkle is a fucking queen

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

Twilight Sparkle is a fucking horse w wings AND a horn

 

MJ @michellejones

Black widow, grown up lesbian murder spy queen, watched My little pony?

 

Natasha @blackwindow

no

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

yes

 

MJ @michellejones

that's hilarious, great show tho i didn't know i was black widow material lol

 

Natasha @blackwindow

it's amazing, fite me

 

MJ @michellejones

id rather not

 

Natasha @blackwidow

i'm sure u’d rather fite ur gf

 

MJ @michellejones

shuri is not my gf

 

Natasha @blackwindow

i never mentioned shuri..

 

MJ @michellejones

well i guess i’ll just go and kill myself now :)

 

Guy in da chair @nedleeds

welp doesn't that seem unnecessary mich? then u never get to marry your gf

 

Expialidocious @shuri

that does seem very unnecessary

 

MJ @michellejones

it does not

 

MJ @michellejones

and wtf Ned, Mich?!

 

Guy in da chair @nedleeds

u need a nickname 

 

Expialidocious @shuri

it's cute

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

Shuri needs one too!!

 

Expialidocious @shuri

i do not

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

you dooooo

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

ned help me out

 

guy in da chair @nedleeds

waitwait, we need to discuss this in private. 

 

guy in da chair @nedleeds

invite them to our private gc!!

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

omg yes i almost forgot about it!!

 

-

 

**Top Secret Highly Classified**

 

[  _ Dumb-as-a-door _ added  _ Lesbian _ ]

 

[ _ Dumb-as-a-door  _ added  _ Pascal  _ ]

 

_ Speedo _ :

Hello gays

and welcome,

to the gc

 

_ Dumb-as-a-door _ :

everything inside this gc stays here

and if it doesnt

u will be dropped down a volcano

 

_ Pascal _ :

Damn dude

this sounds serious

 

_ Speedo _ :

it is

 

_ Lesbian _ : 

So why is my nickname Lesbian and michelles Pascal

i mean i also want do be a disney animal

 

_ Dumb-as-a-door _ :

u can't change your given nickname

so stfu and live w it

 

_ Lesbian _ :

rude

 

_ Dumb-as-a-door _ : 

always

 

_ Pascal _ : 

soooo

what even is this?

 

_ Speedo _ : 

glad u asked dear pascal

 

_ Dumb-as-a-door _ : 

this is our top secret highly classified club where we talk about everything and anything that comes to our minds 

 

_ Speedo _ :

aka mostly crushes 

 

_ Pascal _ :

soooo

do u sext here?

 

_ Dumb-as-a-door _ :

whY would we do that?

 

_ Speedo _ :

that's what private chats are for 

duuuh

 

_ Lesbian _ :

oooh so u guys finally confessed 

 

_ Dumb-as-a-door _ :

i don't know what u r talking about

 

_ Speedo _ :

yes

 

_ Dumb-as-a-door _ :

ned stfu

 

_ Speedo _ :

sry pete <33

 

_ Lesbian _ :

aww heartsss

 

_ Pascal _ :

<3<3<3<3<3<3

 

_ Lesbian _ :

<33333333333

 

_ Pascal _ :

👅

 

_ Dumb-as-a-door _ :

I SAID NO SEXTING IN THIS GC

i'm looking at you two lesbians

 

_ Pascal _ :

rude

 

_ Lesbian _ : 

very

 

_ Speedo _ :

didn't i tell u that's what private chats are for???

 

_ Pascal _ :

u did

brb

 

_ Lesbian _ :

ttyl

 

_ Dumb-as-a-door _ :

oh nooo

 

_ Speedo _ :

is it bad that i want to know if they actually are doing it?

 

_ Dumb-as-a-door _ :

…

yES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to clearify:  
> dumb-as-a-door is Peter  
> Speedo is Ned  
> Lesbian is Shuri  
> Pascal is Michelle


	16. web designers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time no see friends ;))  
> Im back with another chapter, FiNaLLy
> 
> IMPOTANT MESSAGE AT THE BOTTOM <33333

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

uh hi guess what i did

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

oops

 

ironman @tonystark

WHAT THE FUCK PETER

 

ironman @tonystark

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

 

ironman @tonystark

YOU'RE NOT EVEN 18 YET

 

ironman @tonystark

IS THIS EVEN LEGAL?!?

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

uh aunt may said i could

 

ironman @tonystark

DID SHE REALLY   
  


ironman @tonystark

IMMA CALL HER RIGHT NOW, U BETTER TALK TRUTH

 

Guy in da chair @nedleeds

dude that's so cool

 

MJ @michellejones

have u told ur pal spiderman?

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

he was with me when i got it

 

Guy in da chair @nedleeds

of course he was

 

ironman @tonystark

AUNT MAY WAS OK WITH IT SO I'M OK WITH IT TOO

 

ironman @tonystark

I LOVE IT 

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

no need to shout, and thanks, me two

 

MJ @michellejones

me three, it's cute

 

Guy in da chair @nedleeds

it's hawt

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

it's so cute omg i want one too

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

we can all get matching??

 

Expialidocious @shuri

fuck yeah we should

 

Sparks @wandamaximoff

team spiderman

 

Expialidocious @shuri

spidergang

 

Guy in da chair @nedleeds

team arachnids

 

MJ @michellejones

the OG spiderman fanclub

 

Wallcrawler @spiderman

w e b  d e s i g n e r s

 

Expialidocious @shuri

o m g  y e s

 

MJ @michellejones

i t s  p e r f e c t

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

new name of our gc !!

 

Natasha @blackwindow

can i join your group?

 

Natasha @blackwindow

i mean i'm a spider too

 

guy in da chair @nedleeds

is it even possible to say no?

 

MJ @michellejones

i mean it's THE lesbian? of course she can join

 

Expialidocious @shuri

hi welcome to our cult

 

ironman @tonystark

can i join too?

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

no

 

ironman @tonystark

What?! why not?!

 

MJ @michellejones

cause ur not a spider 

 

Expialidocious @shuri

this cult is for spider and their team and no one else

 

ironman @tonystark

i'm spidermans sidekick?!

 

wallcrawler @spiderman

you are MY sidekick??

 

ironman @tonystark

uh yeah?!

 

wallcrawler @spiderman

i thought i was yours?

 

ironman @tonystark?

are you kidding me kiddo?! spiderman is not a sidekick

 

wallcrawler @spiderman

fuck 

 

wallcrawler @spiderman

i love u

 

ironman @tonystark

i love you to kiddo <33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what to do with this story guys, i might take a break from it until i know what the heck i want to write. So if anyone want to write a chapter or two for this story you are mor than welcome to hmu !!


	17. tears and I LOVE U <33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically me being a moody bitch and crying while writing this bcs i love my irondad and spiderson <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

did i ever tell you how much i love my dad?

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

ever since i was little i've always looked up so much to him

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

and the day he saved my life at the stark expo, tbh i owe him so much

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

it's crazy how much this man means to me <33

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

i would say i would die for him but i know he won't like that so i'm going to say that i'm going to live for him <3

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

because i can't do anything to pay him back for everything he has done for me

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

fucking hell it's 3 am and i think i drank something

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

god i'm a mess

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

tbh i don't even know if i'm drunk or if i'm just an idiot

 

* * *

 

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

who did this

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

stark had been crying all morning and the only words he can say is “fuck” “god” and “heck”

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

i can't stand it anymore

 

MJ @michellejones

oh my god @peterparkour what did u do

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

of course it was that little punks fault

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

what did i do?

 

MJ @michellejones

your little 3 am adventure

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

oh fuckkkkkk

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

nooo i did NOT just do that

 

Supercalifragilistic @peterparkour

michelle helppppp

 

MJ @michellejones

dude you did this to yourself

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

I swear nat is going to kill him soon if he doesn't shut up

 

natasha @blackwindow

pete get over here or i'm going to kill him

 

natasha @blackwindow

and we are going to talk about you 3 am adventure

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

i have no idea what you are talking about

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

seriusly

 

thor @pointbreak

And you guys tried to tell me that Tony wasn't the little ones father.

 

sparks @wandamaximoff

hes not biogically his dad

 

thor @pointbreak

But they are still family.

 

sparks @wandamaximoff

the avengers are a family

 

wallcrawler @spiderman

a very weird family

 

sparks @wandamaximoff

yeah everyone is very weird but i love them anyways


	18. good responses to being shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya, back at it again w a new chapter, dont expect any new chapters soon tho ;p ly

steph @jellyfish

@ the avengers, what's a good response to being shot?

 

wallcrawler @spiderman

rude

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

fair

 

natasha @blackwindow

not again

 

ironman @tonystark

do you want to keep this knife or can i take it?

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

CALLING 911

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

what is wrong with you all?!

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

is this how you ACTUALLY respond to being stabbed?!?!?

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

I am grounding you all, if anyone leaves the tower I am legally allowed to knock you out

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

i mean, that's fair

 

natasha @blackwindow

yah, it's not like it havent happened before

 

wallcrawler @spiderman

not so nice of you mr righteous

 

ironman @tonystark

only if you carry me home

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

ok i'm cancelling dinner tonight, and forever

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

NOOOOO YOU CAN'T DO THAT

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN COOK IN THIS GODDAMN TOWER

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

although pete is actually pretty good

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

OMGHGGGGG YOU'RE TEACHING HIM TO COOK   
  


hawkguy @clintbarton

HOW COULD YOU!!??? I'VE BEEN WANTING TO LEARN FROM YOU SINCE FOR EVER

 

natasha @blackwindow

he has actually

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

ID DO ANYTHING   
  


Steve Rogers @captainamerica

anything?

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

aaaaanyyythiiiing

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

then perish

 

bicon tm @peterparkour

THAT'S MY DAD YOU GUYSSS!!!!   
  


bicon tm @peterparkour

I LOVE YOU <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

 

ironman @tonystark

ohhh you just got burned by a 100 year old barton

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

i hate all of you 

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

every single one of you SUCKS

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

except scott, ily honey

 

ironman @tonystark

im pretty sure he sucks too

 

bicon tm @peterparkour

and swallows

 

ironman @tonystark

PETER

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

grounded

 

scott @scottlang

i meaaan, hes not wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> scottttttttttttttt <333333


	19. in l o v e

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes @ this whole chapter

natasha @blackwindow

I have an announcement

 

natasha @blackwindow

tony’s got a grave mental disease

 

bicon tm @peterparkour

wait what?!?!

 

natasha @blackwindow

he’s in l o v e

 

bicon tm @peterparkour

oh no that's really serious i've heard

 

bicon tm @peterparkour

is he gonna be ok?

 

natasha @blackwindow

i don't know, there’s no cure for it yet

 

falcon @samwilson

I think steve got that too

 

bicon tm @peterparkour

two people!? damn it's contagious!!

 

falcon @samwilson

brace yourself, we have an epidemic in front of us

 

bicon tm @peterparkour

i, i think nat’s got it too

 

bicon tm @peterparkour

shes doing heart eyes at pep

 

falcon @samwilson

oh no! be careful so you don’t catch it too

 

bicon tm @peterparkour

you too sam!!

 

* * *

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

What do you think is the most appropriate solution to overpopulation?

 

natasha @blackwindow

contraception

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

education

 

thor @pointbreak

laws that require every orphaned homeless kid to be adopted so that everyone has their own kids without making more

 

wallcrawler @spiderman

we could just ship the extra people to mars

 

God of mischief @loki

Even better - _ the hunger games _

 

thor @pointbreak

loki nooo

 

ironman @tonystark

or just snap them away

 

ironman @tonystark

like half the population or so

 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica

tony, loki grounded

 

ironman @tonystark

that's fair

 

God of mischief @loki

no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also long time no see, im almost on my summer break so ill try to start updating again!!


	20. tiktok queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so terribly sorry for this awful chapter i hate it with all my heart but im posting it anyways ugh

bicon @peterparkour

don’t be bitter

 

sparks @wandamaximoff

cause i'm fitter

 

guy in da chair @nedleeds

why hasn't it hit her

 

not american @shuri

he doesn't wanna bang you

 

MJ @michellejones

somebody hang you

 

hawkguy @clintbarton

uh oh

 

God of mischief @loki

here we go

 

bicon @peterparker

omg loki-

 

guy in da chair @nedleeds

i'm so proud over you loki

 

MJ @michellejones

i didn't know the god of mischief liked musical

 

not american @shuri

nono you all got it wrong

 

God of mischief @loki

I did not know that song is from a musical 

 

bicon @peterparker

then where

 

bicon @peterparker

wait…

 

MJ @michellejones

you're on tiktok?!?

 

guy in da chair @nedleeds

oh my god 

 

God of mischief @loki

maybe…

 

not american @shuri

he is!!!!!

 

MJ @michellejones

sweet

 

bicon @peterparker

we stan a tiktok queen

 

sparks @wandamaximoff

how could u keep this from us !!

 

God of mischief @loki

because that app is very cringe and i thought you would bully me

 

sparks @wandamaximoff

it's the cringest ?most cringe? 

guy in da chair @nedleeds

that's why we all have it 

 

**Author's Note:**

> gaYY


End file.
